Thursday, August 9, 2012

Emotional Battle Fields {Race Day}

I ran a 17k {exactly 7.42 miles} yesterday! I did it and am so proud of myself! It was the longest I have ran since I was a young wipper snapper {18}. Race day caused several emotions to surface. It was an emotional battle field in my mind all day long.

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos


Let me tell you first off I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep and tossed and turned all night long. When I got up and snuck out of the house at 6am, I was still stomaching nerves which now followed with excitement. As the hour approached and I was meeting all my race buddies {Team Rocklin Crunch Fitness}, I was battling embarrassment because these gorgeous women were all much thinner and looked like they were better runners than I . I overheard chatting about running 7-9 minute mile runs while I stood quiet all the while knowing I was running a 10-11 minute mile runs. I knew then, they would be running lapse around me. When we all lined up at the start line, there were so many people {over 600 runners running the 12k}. As the race started and I hit the first 1 mile marker, all I could think about were the kids, grandparents and new mothers that were passing me over and over again. My internal competitiveness was taking over and I wanted to go faster but I knew that I wouldn't finish if I tired myself out. It wasn't until mile 4 that I finally overcame my depression of being a slow runner. It was then that I finally got into a grove and ran only to finish and to NOT stop. Up hills and down hills, past beautiful homes and cheering spectators I did run. Some funny things happened, like an 8 year old ran with me the whole time passing me at the end and one runner stopped at a garage sale to buy a bike {haha}. When I saw the 6 mile marker, I was in near tears because I had not run this far in years, and when I finally saw that 7 mile marker I was overwhelmed with excitement that it was  almost  over. My husband joked earlier that he could run 7 miles {ha yeah right} but that last .42 miles would kill him. He was sure right about that. It felt like forever. As I approached the balloons and all the shouting and cheering people, I wanted so bad to be able to sprint my way to the end but I was so tired. I tried to sprint but settled with just running as fast as I could. When I finally passed that magic finish line, I raised my hands in the air {just like Rocky would have}. It was over. I DID IT! This time, I won the battle field and it felt so good. I knew I wanted more. I wanted that feeling again. I felt invisible. Despite the emotions that overtook my mind, I want to know again that I can move mountains {because that is what it felt like}. If I could do this, I can definitely get through school, keep my kids alive.

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Now when I came home, I was unbelievably tired. In 10 minutes I passed out and slept for 3 hours {I couldn't even help it}. I felt so old. Later that day, I felt so good {such a runners high} I decided to take the kids to the park {a 3 mile walk}.

Today I am Rickity Cricket. I feel like the rusted tin man. I am so so sore, though I can't wait to get back out on that road. That pavement that has become my friend. I will train hard. I will train longer and I will get to feel those race day feeling all over again.

Here are some more pictures of the race.

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

5 comments:

  1. So so so so proud!

    I nominated you for an award. Here are the details: http://craftbotics.blogspot.com/2012/04/versatile-blogger-award.html

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    1. Awe thanks so much! You r so so sweet!!

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  2. Good job! I'm doing a half-marathon in October. I can't even run a mile. At least a i have a few months to train first. :)

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    1. Omg! Congrats girl! This is awesome! I will so root for you during your training!!

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