Raw Honesty

Complete honesty
raw, real and genuine
How raw?
Is too raw?
No makeup,
wired up hair
Mismatched socks
cleaning solution and baby puke
I am this
Raw mother
I find myself saying everything my mother use too
When I was a child.
Childhood is the rawest moments of your life
It is real and unreal
It is both
I honestly wish I knew peter pan
but don't we all
Now that is real honesty
Raw and real
We are all searching for the un-real though
expectations
chasing what is not here
When whats here
is a moment.
a choice
This exact moment is what is only real.
What I am choosing in this moment
is real and raw
writing, evolving my tounge
over the pile of reality and bills to pay
is a real choice
though a real choice is moving on
and passing
Peter Pan down
to my own children.
That is time's raw reality.

-from my journal 1.16.13