Thoughts on life.

As of lately I have been thinking a lot about what life is all about and how being stressed and angry because I am stressed is unnecessary. We all have stressed, and things in life we would want to change but in the bigger picture, in the scope of life it just doesn't really matter. Little things that matter to me really shouldn't.

Example: I get so mad about cleaning up after everyone all the time. My husband doesn't put anything away once he has used them, and it drives me mad. Or my daughter is in the habit of spitting out every piece of food I give her... These are small things and getting mad every time they happen is useless and unnecessary. When I am old, I don't want to be remembered as the ____-retentive mother who couldn't let the little things go. If what we are remembered for in the end by how we made others feel, I want to be remembered as the kind and soft spoken mother. I want to be remembered as feared, but in a good way. I want to be remembered as connected and in the moment, not always trying to figure out what needs to be taken care of next. I want to be remembered as a good feeling, not as what I acted like this morning. 

I ought to try yoga and meditation again. I think that as this juncture in my life, little moments of relaxation are all I am going to get and in order to love life and not just deal with it, a little "Hoo's Fra Ba's" might be good for me and everyone in the house currently "dealing" with me. 

For I am no where near perfect, but I do want to be the best version of me. 

Eye Spy Tuesday

My favorite Shop on Etsy >>> HERE
I actually have a necklace and seriously wear it everyday!!! She does custom work too!

I must must do a DIY. I want this sweater for the fall. 

 

Maybe DIY for a bathing suit top?

 

I want to do this... Halloween? 

 

Words. 

 

Awesome for Traveling >>> HERE

 

Words. 

Fit Mind. Fit Life. Fit Me. Fit Mondays.

What a stressful week is has been. Last week I didn't even post a Weightloss Monday post because our oldest daughter was diagnosed with Autism. I shared last week about how we are all adjusting to how we work with our little lady. This past week I was so busy that I did not work out much but did watch what I ate and did not do any unnecessary snacking or over eating. I have felt full but not over full all week. Since I only lost a half a pound, this week my goal will be to work out 3 days this week and also be sure to work out while on vacation. 

Vacations. Oh yes, we all love them and prepare for them and then we have a blast and come back feeling exhausted and usually with a pound or two joining us. This time our vacation I am extremely prepared to have fun for a week with our two little kids as well as taking care of my health. So, how do I plan on keeping fit and not gaining weight this vacation? Here is how... 

1. Stock the fridge in our timeshare with health foods. Fruits and light snacks.

2. Find the Gym at the facility and take turns with my husband to work out for some quiet time to ourselves. 

3. Do fun things that require a lot of walking. Hiking, maybe go to the zoo, or even swimming.

4. Be sure to check out calories when eating out. Sometimes even a salad can be a days worth of calories. Eat out in moderation. 

Weight loss This week: 0.5

Start Weight: 228

Current Weight: 157 

<<< Start Weight Photo's >>>

 

<<< Current Weightloss Pics >>>

WIW today

Emotional Battle Fields {Race Day}

I ran a 17k {exactly 7.42 miles} yesterday! I did it and am so proud of myself! It was the longest I have ran since I was a young wipper snapper {18}. Race day caused several emotions to surface. It was an emotional battle field in my mind all day long.




Let me tell you first off I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep and tossed and turned all night long. When I got up and snuck out of the house at 6am, I was still stomaching nerves which now followed with excitement. As the hour approached and I was meeting all my race buddies {Team Rocklin Crunch Fitness}, I was battling embarrassment because these gorgeous women were all much thinner and looked like they were better runners than I . I overheard chatting about running 7-9 minute mile runs while I stood quiet all the while knowing I was running a 10-11 minute mile runs. I knew then, they would be running lapse around me. When we all lined up at the start line, there were so many people {over 600 runners running the 12k}. As the race started and I hit the first 1 mile marker, all I could think about were the kids, grandparents and new mothers that were passing me over and over again. My internal competitiveness was taking over and I wanted to go faster but I knew that I wouldn't finish if I tired myself out. It wasn't until mile 4 that I finally overcame my depression of being a slow runner. It was then that I finally got into a grove and ran only to finish and to NOT stop. Up hills and down hills, past beautiful homes and cheering spectators I did run. Some funny things happened, like an 8 year old ran with me the whole time passing me at the end and one runner stopped at a garage sale to buy a bike {haha}. When I saw the 6 mile marker, I was in near tears because I had not run this far in years, and when I finally saw that 7 mile marker I was overwhelmed with excitement that it was  almost  over. My husband joked earlier that he could run 7 miles {ha yeah right} but that last .42 miles would kill him. He was sure right about that. It felt like forever. As I approached the balloons and all the shouting and cheering people, I wanted so bad to be able to sprint my way to the end but I was so tired. I tried to sprint but settled with just running as fast as I could. When I finally passed that magic finish line, I raised my hands in the air {just like Rocky would have}. It was over. I DID IT! This time, I won the battle field and it felt so good. I knew I wanted more. I wanted that feeling again. I felt invisible. Despite the emotions that overtook my mind, I want to know again that I can move mountains {because that is what it felt like}. If I could do this, I can definitely get through school, keep my kids alive.



Now when I came home, I was unbelievably tired. In 10 minutes I passed out and slept for 3 hours {I couldn't even help it}. I felt so old. Later that day, I felt so good {such a runners high} I decided to take the kids to the park {a 3 mile walk}.

Today I am Rickity Cricket. I feel like the rusted tin man. I am so so sore, though I can't wait to get back out on that road. That pavement that has become my friend. I will train hard. I will train longer and I will get to feel those race day feeling all over again.

Here are some more pictures of the race.

I just found out my daughter has Autism, what comes next?

 

I am not very good with emotions. Showing it to others is not my strong suit. Trying to pull emotion out of me  when I am going through something is near impossible unless your my husband. I will cry with my husband, laugh with my husband and share everything with my husband which is a great gift to me. So, when things happen in life and everyone expects me to run in to their arm and ball my eyes out and I don't I feel almost bad that I am not like that. What I am good at is writing how I feel. When I was a little kids and all the way up till I met my husband I carried a journal with me everywhere. I wrote everything down. Shared everything and when I would fill up a journal it would almost hurt to by a new one. 

When Brian and I came home from finding out that Chloe had Autism, we were both in a daze. Both quiet and still a little in shock. It slowly settled in over the next few hours and I went into super shock mode. We just kept saying I can't believe it, at least we know what's wrong now. We both have been working a lot the past two days {Brian working overtime and me getting iPhone cases made and out}, so keeping busy was kind of a blessing since we didn't really know what to do next. 

When I finally had a second to research what Autism is exactly and what comes next, I literally Googled "I just found out my daughter has Autism, what comes next?" Yes, I was that....lost. Thank goodness, like an hour later I got a call from director of Chloe's Speech Therapy sessions and she laid it down for me. I received a lot of information and know now what comes next. In essence we as parents will be taking a class, and getting more informed as parents and Chloe is now on the wait list for this amazing pre-school like setting for children with Autism and if she gets in, she will be with 7 other kids everyday to help improve some of her behaviors. If she does not get in, she will be receiving intense in house therapy for a hours everyday...

Needless to say there will be some big changes in all our lives over the next few months. As it happens, I will not be going to school this semester and will be spending my time and focus on our sweet little girls. I will go back to school, once we all get accustom to our new lives. 

Brian and I are very excited about the possibilities and help we are now receiving to work with this amazing little lady. 

I know a lot of family members might be reading this post and I have been receiving a lot of questions like, "What can I do?" In answer to this question that I had no good answer previously, I would now say... Educate yourself on what Autism is and what it's like in the mind of an Autistic child. I found this website helpful {Autism Speaks}. I also heard this book is really good at getting in the mind of an Autistic child and might help us all understand her a little bit more {The Way I see it by Temple Grandin} or this book {Emergence: Labeled Autistic}. I have not read either, but the reviews are amazing and I have heard good things from other people.